To him I said, "you remind me of someone," and before I finish my thought, he'd already guessed whom. Patterns are interesting. The more people you get to know, the more adept you are at figuring out their motivations. What was once mystery becomes a story that belongs to the collective human experience, or morphs into an insecurity or revealing characteristic that makes them human. Flaws are good. We played a game of pointing out each other's flaws for the purpose of figuring out the puzzle pieces, but in a way, it's like what had been deduced so long ago, having flaws, and admitting to them out loud, makes us all a little bit more three-dimensional.
I've always loved people. He says, as a flaw, or as a compliment to his cynicism, "you're easily impressed." I confess it makes me vain, or careless with my inability to have time to maintain so many relationships, but this genuine appreciation, and interest in everyone and anyone, will always be something that I cherish deeply. So as we sit, and as I watch this all too familiar face, and as I confront him, I feel a certain pride that swells from deep within. It is nice to grow, and it is nice to confront, bravely, all our strengths and flaws.
I have grown leaps and bounds in the past year, and the woman emerging from the chaos, is someone who is in control, who has a deeper understanding of herself through an better understanding of others. I believe empathy will always be the strongest possession we have as humans. It took a lot of loss to gain this knowledge, but I am deeply in debt to every person who has sat across from me and looked me in the eye, who pushed me, or was ambivalent of me, or was kind to me.
This mad place, with all its wonders, has given me so much. I'm humbled by every moment.