Well, after all the "save the world" talk, after the idealism, systematic changes, "getting to the root of the problem," "being a game changer," I am met with the sinking feeling that I'm only human. Smacked with cashmoneycash, where do you idealism run to. Life is only a game of decisions. We choose jobs. We choose loves. We choose friends. We choose paths. The sheer weight of decision-making I have to perform in the next three weeks is a burden on my back, not for the luxury of having choices, but the fear that I'm losing myself somewhere along the way, that one day I'll wake up and become the machine that speak in strategy and lose sight of something meaningful. I came to this place to effect change, but in the end, maybe it'll swallow me whole... Validation of ability, yes, yes, but if I do it, if I do it, I will not give up on systematic changes. I WILL NOT. I WILL NOT. I will not sacrifice my integrity, and I'll tell you why, because I had the honor of working for Liz Danzico, and I know what people in a good systems can do... and I refuse, I absolutely refuse to believe that China cannot nurture such ecosystems.
Now the questions is just, to make something work better, or to create a new order? Management, not a easy thing.