He says, "You're in the nether. Let us be your tether." Only I interpret nether as "ether" somehow, and deluded myself into thinking that this detachment is more about going upwards than down under. Work grounds me to such piercing reality that it's good to be detached once in a while. Although my other reality may be as much about happiness as it will become a prolonged sadness. The worst part is the lack of self-awareness, that the very world view you have might be wrong, and that you are in fact reckless, lacking basic aptitude.

"You're better than this."

Am I? Are we? In the end, is my sincerity only grounded in words, feelings, and my actions run away like a headless monster governed by caprice? I don't even know. All I know is, it's devastating. Even if I deserve it. It's devastating to have lost you.

Rong says. "Do not lose yourself."

Should I have chosen to lose myself (be braver, better, smarter), than to lose you? Either way, the game is lost. I can't even get a song out of it.